I don’t know about you guys, but for me, the holidays often feel like a massive undertaking. With Thanksgiving and Christmas, the months of November and December are the absolute busiest months of the year for me. My husband and I host Thanksgiving dinner in our home, each year, for our family. Prior to us taking on this task, for years, his aunt hosted Thanksgiving. However, when she moved out of state many years ago, we took up that mantle. With both of our families in attendance, we usually average around twenty-two to twenty-five people (this year we had twenty-three). And then there’s Christmas, which consists of three celebrations with various family members; and with each celebration, there are gift exchanges. Last year, I purchased gifts for thirty people, and this year, we have two new additions to the family. Although I try my best to stay calm and to plan ahead, and as much as I love our family gatherings, the holidays always come with tiredness, and a little chaos.
Preparing for Christmas
This past Thursday, I was happy to get most of the Christmas cards put in the mail (there are still a couple that need to go out), so with that out of the way, I spent this weekend, doing the bulk of my gift wrapping, along with getting our Christmas tree and home décor set-up. Early Friday evening, and into the night, I wrapped Christmas presents. I literally spent seven and a half hours wrapping presents, and I’m still not done. Saturday morning, I got up and was determined to finally get our Christmas tree set-up. Usually, I like to have it up by the first of December, but this year I was tired, busy, and just did not have a chance to get it up. Needless to say, after hosting Thanksgiving dinner, I felt that I just needed a break from the holidays, although I was still doing some online Christmas shopping during this break.
Saturday morning, bright and early, into the attic I went, to pull out our Christmas tree and holiday décor. It took me a few hours to decorate and get everything set-up. Afterwards, when I was done, it felt so good to have everything set up and decorated. Last year, I sort of did an overhaul on our Christmas tree ornaments, and went with a more calming natural theme, which better suits my personality. So, this year I enjoyed decorating our tree a little more because the style was beautiful to me. And I believe wholeheartedly in making your home, and your environment, a reflection of what’s in your heart, creating beauty around you.
Feeling behind
Last week, I really had to check myself, and to adjust my thinking. I had this overwhelming sense of feeling like I was “behind.” However, I had to ask myself the question: what actual deadlines do I have other than the dates of our Christmas celebrations? So what if I didn’t have our Christmas tree up by the first of December? In the total scheme of my life, what does that really matter? Yes, Christmas trees and décor add warmth to our homes, and a sense of festivity; but even if I’m a little late getting things set-up, there was still plenty of time for my family and I to enjoy them. So, yes, in an ideal world, I would have had our Christmas tree and décor set up by the first of December. However, in my real life, in this real world that I happen to live in, that simply did not happen this year, and that’s okay.
Can we begin to normalize reality?
In this instance and in many others, ideal situations are, after all, concepts that we sometimes create in our minds of how things should be; and of course, there is always the media bombarding us with these images. So, when real life doesn’t measure up to the ideal, as it often doesn’t, there are times when we are left with the feeling that we are somehow “behind.” This feeling of being behind can apply to various areas of our lives. For me, this past week, it applied to something as simple as Christmas décor; however, it can show up in much more important areas of our lives such as getting married, starting a family, school, career, preparing for retirement, etc.
The truth is that the ideal does not take into account reality. In a perfect world, everything goes as planned. There are no interruptions, disruptions, distractions, or unforeseen incidents. But unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world. In real life, things just don’t go as we always plan for them to go. And one of the primary reasons that it doesn’t, is because we are not an island unto ourselves; meaning that there are so many other people whose lives impact our lives, and they each have ideas and plans of their own. Not to mention, our own limitation of time, energy and resources. Yet, in this hodge podge world of competing plans and agendas, we somehow manage to accomplish those things that we have set out to do, often in the midst of interference, and sometimes resistance.
For me, I chose to see the truth: this feeling of being “behind” is just some arbitrary expectation that I have placed on myself. Therefore, I chose to let go of this expectation, and to just accept things as they are; to enjoy the process and create beauty along the way.
Leave a Reply